Work hard, have fun, don’t waste time, when it is not fun, move on (Richard Branson)

WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN !!!!

Beware on how to chat up a girl, dun let them have a chance to turn u down like that........


HE : Can I buy you a drink?
SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like
yours.
SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face
like yours.

HE : Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake
twice.

HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE : I must've been given your share.

HE : Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE : Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE : Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE : Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE : Okay, get out.

HE : I think I could make you very happy.
SHE : Why? Are you leaving?

HE : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE : Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE : Can I have your name?
SHE : Why? Don't you already have one?

HE : Shall we go see a movie?
SHE : I've already seen it.

HE : Where have you been all my life?
SHE : Hiding from you.

HE : Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE : Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE : Is this seat empty?
SHE : Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE : So, what do you do for a living?
SHE : I'm a female impersonator.

HE : Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE : Do not enter.

HE : Your body is like a temple.
SHE : Sorry, there are no services today.

HE : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE : If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

One of the Best Irish Stories

At the National Art Gallery in Dublin , a husband and wife were
staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.
The painting depicted three black men totally naked sitting
on a park bench. Two of the figures had black
willies, but the one in the middle had a pink willie.



The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble
interpreting the painting and offered his
assessment. He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted
the sexual emasculation of black men in a predominately white, patriarchal society.


'In fact,' he pointed out, 'some serious critics believe that the pink
willie also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society.'


After the curator left, an Irishman, approached the couple and said,
'Would you like to know what the painting is really about?'


'Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of
the gallery?' asked the couple.

'Because I'm the guy who painted it,' he replied. 'In fact, there are
no black men depicted at all. They're just
three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch.'

A Mexican maid asked her female boss for a pay increase.

Her boss was annoyed at this and asked, 'Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?'

Maria: 'Well, Senora, there are three reasons why I want an increase... The first is that I iron better than you.'

Wife: 'Who said you iron better than me?'

Maria: 'Your husband said so.'

Wife: 'Oh.'

Maria: 'The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.'

Wife: 'Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?'

Maria: 'Your husband did.'

Wife: 'Oh.'

Maria: 'My third reason is that I am a better lover than you..'

Wife (really furious now): 'Did my husband say that as well?'

Maria: 'No Senora, the gardener did.'

Wife: 'So how much do you want?'